The Mom & Pop Series
by Mad Childe Dru
Summary: A series set in the future. (Nominated at the Watching You Awards)
1. Bedtime

"Tell me a story!" the small blond child, jumped up and down in her bed, tossing the sheets about until they had become a tangled mess. Her father chuckled, gazing down at her,

"Alright, Joy," he leaned over and straightened the sheets before settling himself down on the corner of her mattress, "What kind of story do you want to 'ear?"

"One with monsters and dragons!" her brother yelped, running in from the hall where his mother had been walking him to his own room. He jumped up and landed with a soft thump next to his father on his sister's bed. A warm smile crossed their father's face as he gazed lovingly at their mother who was leaning against the door jamb.

"Ok then, Will, monsters it is."

"No!" interrupted his sister, shifting again in her bed, "I want one with a princess and castles!" Her request soon had the siblings bickering and their father quickly intervened,

"I'm sure I can tell a story with a princess and monsters."

"And a castle?" his daughter prodded. He smiled tenderly at her, "And a castle." Satisfied, both children leaned back, the little girl against her pillows, and her brother against his dad.

"Once upon a time...there lived a princess in a big castle," he looked to his daughter, who nodded in approval, "She 'ad everythin' she could possibly want. She 'ad plenty of servants, knights, and all the jesters that she would ever need."

"What's a gesture?"

"What's a jester? Well, you know your Uncle Xander?"

"Yeah..."

"Will," his wife warned him in a menacing tone.

"Well, it's somethin' like that, son," he rushed ahead with the story, "Anyway, she 'ad everythin' she could possibly want, but the princess wasn't 'appy."

"Why not, daddy?"

"Well, pumpkin, the princess knew that there was somethin' better for 'er out there and she always felt that she could be doing more for the people who lived in 'er kingdom. You see, there were lots of monsters that lived in 'er kingdom, and they were always eating the people," he paused and smiled at his son who was bobbing his head in approval, " And the princess wanted to do somethin' to 'elp with the problem. So, one day she decided to take a ride through the woods, but, since a princess is never allowed to go anywhere without an escort, she took a knight with 'er. But not just any knight, the bravest, most fierce knight in all the land," their mother snickered from her place in the doorway and their father glared at her before resuming his story, "In fact, this knight was said to be beyond human. It was also said that this knight loved 'er very much, but the sla- ...princess, didn't believe the knight, because she thought it was just part of 'is duty to protect 'er."

"But where are all the monsters, dad?"

"I'm gettin' to that part. Anyway, she and the knight rode for a little while without any trouble, until they came upon a great cave. The knight thought it wasn't a good idea to venture into a cave without letting someone back at the castle know where they would be ahead of time, but the stubborn princess-"

The children's mother cleared her throat from her place at the door.

"Err...the, umm..._curious_ princess, decided that they should go into the cave and see if there was anythin' inside it worth slayin'...or...umm...seein'. Right. Anyway, the knight and the princess carefully made their way inside, only to see a huge dem- ...uhh...dragon...loungin' about."

"What's longing, dad?"

"Loungin'? Well, you know your Uncle Xa-," he thought the better of it, "I'll explain some other time, Will. Anyway, when the knight saw this dragon, 'e wanted to take the princess out and get 'er to safety right away, but before they could leave the dragon realized they were in it's cave and it cornered them. Knowin' that the only way to get the princess out and to safety was to kill this dragon, the knight bravely attacked it. They battled for quite sometime until the knight had vanquished the dragon-" The children's mother cleared her throat again, causing their father to sigh,

"I mean, they fought until the knight vanquished the dragon, _with_ some 'elp from the princess. Unfortunately, the knight was badly wounded durin' the fight."

"Oh no, daddy! We wanted a happy story!" his small daughter complained.

"I'm not finished yet, luv. So, the knight was badly wounded durin' the fight and the princess ran to 'is side to try to 'elp. While she was kneelin' near 'im, though, a bright light appeared in the cave and from it, a....umm...a...fairy god-mother-" Another snort of amusement from his wife made him pause before continuing, "As I was sayin', b'fore your mother interrupted, a fairy god-mother appeared and offered them a gift. She told the knight that she would grant 'im life, and make 'im completely 'uman, as long as 'e promised to guard and watch over the princess for the rest of 'is life. The knight told this fairy god-mother that 'uman or not 'e would 'ave protected 'er until the end of the world...and so the fairy god-mother granted 'im this gift."

"How'd she do that, dad?"

"Yeah! Did she have a wand? I want a wand. Auntie Willow has a wand...so does Auntie Tara..."

"Yeah, she 'ad a wand, ducks. And we'll get you one after I finish with the story, ok?" he waited for his daughter to nod before continuing, "Right. So, after they 'ad returned to the castle, the princess realized just how much the knight loved 'er to offer to protect 'er for the rest of 'is life, and then she realized that she loved 'im as well. So, she went to 'im and told 'im, and they were married and then they lived happily ever after and all that rot."

"So, he became a prince?"

"Well, yeah, but, that's not why 'e married 'er. Anyway, I told you your story, and now it's time for little ones like yourselves to be gettin' to bed," he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his daughter's forehead, "G'night Joyce Ann."

"Good night, daddy," she glanced up at him, "Can I really have a wand?" He smiled down at her and nodded, lightly running a hand down her back to reassure her. She smiled and then snuggled deeper into her blankets while her father picked up her brother and carried him to his room. Tucking him in, he gave him a quick kiss as well, "'Night William Rupert," he whispered gruffly into his son's hair.

"'Night, dad." He watched his son roll over and drift off into sleep before turning and leaving his room, closing the door behind him. He slipped over to where his wife stood in the hallway.

"Hmm...a 'fairy god-mother'?" she questioned softly, "Wonder how the Powers That Be would feel about _that _description." He smiled in return and pulled her close to him,

"So I took a little dramatic license with the story...sue me," he leaned down and placed a light kiss on her lips.

**END**

  
  
  


Bedtime  
Gotcha!  
Did You Ever Know...?  
Ever Notice How Alike Vampire and Umpire Sound?  
Her Portrait  
Twenty Questions  
Why?


	2. Gotcha!

He crouched low to the ground. Silent, he paused. He could hear his prey. He strained his hearing, trying to capture the sound once again. That soft breath that kept escaping.

It came, and again he began moving towards the sound. Carefully avoiding the obstacle in his path, he paused again, trying to be sure he knew where to look.

In the darkness, he could hear a tiny whisper. They had found each other. Were formulating a plan as he searched for them. He knew he'd better find them quickly before the elder had moved them to a safer, more concealed spot. Smart boy, he was.

Tracking the whispers, he drew nearer to the enclosed area. Keeping his footsteps light, he crept closer and closer. He was almost upon them. He could hear the rustling of their clothing as they began to move.

He had to make his move now.

Jumping forward, Spike whipped the door to the closet open and swiftly looped an arm around each of their waists, allowing them to dangle at his sides.

"Gotcha!" He chuckled as he held the squirming pair in his arms. Each child giggling insanely.

William managed to gasp out, "I told you that was an awful hiding place Joyce!" She replied by sticking her tongue out at her brother.

"Hey, none of that now. How 'bout we play again?" Spike set both of them down when they nodded, "Alright, I'll count to-"

"What is this?" He was interrupted by a figure who stood silhouetted in the doorway. A hand reached out and flicked the light on in the den to reveal the trio standing in a guilty line. Buffy crossed her slender arms across her chest and arched an eyebrow at her husband.

The three stood before her, looking down at the floor for a moment before Spike, who stood between William and Joyce, stepped forward to speak, "I know what this looks like..." he trailed off when she snorted in laughter.

"Yeah. It looks like the kids were supposed to be in bed about an hour and a half ago," She responded, glancing at the clock on the wall.

Spike let out a nervous laugh, "Ya' see, what happened was, we were watchin' a picture on the t.v. and it was gettin' on that time, but the kids wanted to play a game quick before they went to bed so I figured that Hide 'n Go Seek would be a real quick game and then off to bed, but one game turned into two, turned into nine and here we are, and I know you're upset Buffy, but really we didn't think that you'd be back from patrol so soon and then-"

"Stop," she cut off his rambling, holding a hand up, "I'm not mad. Just wanted to know what was goin' on here. Besides, they don't have school tomorrow."

"I don't have school ever!" Joyce spoke up, stepping forward and holding out her arms to be picked up. Buffy obliged her and started walking towards the kitchen with Spike and Will trailing behind, "But you will some day, little one."

She set her daughter down at the kitchen table and turned around to face her husband and son who were holding hands as they entered a second later. She smiled lovingly at them both.

"How about hot chocolates all around?"

When the sun finally rose in the sky, four sleeping figures littered the couch in the living room...and the next day, the Slayer needed to buy more Hot Chocolate Mix.

**END**

  
  
  


Bedtime  
Gotcha!  
Did You Ever Know...?  
Ever Notice How Alike Vampire and Umpire Sound?  
Her Portrait  
Twenty Questions  
Why? 


	3. Did I Ever Tell You...?

Spike glanced at the clock anxiously while leading Joyce and William towards the bathroom. There was no way he'd get everything cleaned up in time. Buffy had left early that morning, claiming the need for a girl's day out shopping and at the sauna, and leaving him with the kids for the day. They had spent the better part of their day playing with every toy known to man, as their father adored spoiling them, putting on a sock puppet show, complete with little sock vampires, and had a food fight in the kitchen.

The blond herded his children into the bathroom; all three of them covered in food. While stripping them both down and turning on the tap, he mentally reviewed everything that needed to be done.

_Get the kids a bath._

_Put 'em to bed._

_Straighten the kitchen._

_Straighten the den._

_Shower m'self._

_Change for tonight._

He glanced around the suddenly cluttered bathroom and grimaced.

_Straighten the loo._

"Ok, bath time, you two." He lifted Joyce and set her down inside the tub, "In ya' go," he waited for William to haul himself over the side, because 'big boys can get in the tub themselves', before grabbing the shampoo from out off the shower basket. Squirting some into his hands he simultaneously scrubbed their heads clean, causing little Joyce to giggle.

He gave her a genuine smile before continuing to scrub them both from top to bottom. Buffy would absolutely spit if she came home to find them filthy after a day in his care.

"Alright, tip your 'head back," he told Joyce, using a large cup filled with water to pour water over her head and rinse the shampoo out of her hair. He filled the cup again and shifted positions, "All right, your turn, Will," Will obliged and tilted his own head back.

Flipping the plug on the tub so it could drain, he let the water swirl out while he rubbed the kids dry with a huge towel. Draping a clean towel over each of their shoulders he shooed the kids out the door and into the hallway, "Go t'your rooms and put on your pajamas. I'll be right in to put you to sleep."

As each giggling child took off half-naked down the hall - Joyce holding the tips of her towel at each of her shoulders and using it as a cape while she ran for her room in a fit of laughter - Spike shook his head and chuckled before turning back to the bathroom to clean it up.

He made a face before quickly scooping up all the laundry and stuffing it into an already overflowing hamper. Good thing it's laundry day tomorrow. He then used a washcloth to wipe up the tracks on the floor and threw it on top of the accumulating laundry pile.

Turning, he went down the hallway to check on their progress towards bedtime. William's door was closed tight so he softly knocked on it.

"I'm changin', don't come in!" His son yelped in surprise.

"Alright, just open the door when you're finished," he replied, moving towards his daughter's room and mumbling under his breath, "I was there when you were born for Christ's sake..." he muttered, not liking his six-year-old son's recent request for more independence. Just isn't right, him growin' up this fast...

As he approached his daughter's open door, however, he smirked in amusement at her less inhibited ways. She was jumping up and down on her bed, having ditched the towel just outside her doorway.

Spike lent and picked it up before walking towards her bed and grabbing her mid-leap. She giggled into his shoulder; "How about we get some knickers on you, little one?" He asked, and headed towards her dresser.

Seven minutes later, a much more clothed Joyce Ann was fast asleep in her bed and Spike had just closed the door to his son's room again, having said 'good night' to him. He took a deep breath and then descended down the stairs to get to work on the cleaning. The way he figured it, he had about forty-five minutes before Buffy came through the door, dressed and ready to go out to dinner as they had planned, and fifty minutes until Dawn arrived, having agreed to watch her god-children while they were out.

Entering the den, he scooped up an armful of toys and dropped it unceremoniously into an open chest. He threw in a few more things until it had been filled and then plopped the lid down and forced it locked. He pushed Joyce's dollhouse back into a corner and quickly discarded the toy guns and G.I. Joes that had been left out into a closet. Shutting the door behind him be glanced around and took note of a few miscellaneous toys sitting out on the floor, kicking them aside he walked out of the room, "Good enough."

As he came through the kitchen doorway he paused. Funny, it hadn't looked this bad when we started baking... Cake mix was lightly powdered the floor and eggs were lying broken on the kitchen table. Flour and other assorted baking ingredients also littered the kitchen. So, with a sigh, he began to wipe, sweep, and mop his way to a usable kitchen. He had just thrown away the last of the paper toweling when he caught a glimpse of the time.

"Bloody Hell!" Shoving the rest of the cleaning supplies beneath the sink, Spike raced towards the stairs and up to the master bathroom. He twisted the knobs while pulling his shirt over his head, and then discarded of the rest of his clothing into the hamper. He jumped into the shower and quickly lathered and rinsed. After scrubbing his hair one last time to make sure he had all the cake mix out, he shut off the water and grabbed for a towel.

Wrapping it around his waste he stood in front of the mirror and said a quick prayer of thanks for the reflection that came with being human as he ran a comb and some gel through his short blond locks.

Entering his and Buffy's bedroom, he stepped over to the closet and let the towel around his waste fall to the floor. He'd worry about it later.

He quickly chose a pair of pressed chinos, and a charcoal grey sweater that were hanging in the closet and slid them both on. After slipping into a pair of dress shoes, he checked his appearance in a mirror one last time before heading out into the hallway. He started for the stairs and was half way down when he heard Buffy's key in the lock. A smile crossed his features. Perfect timing.

He casually sauntered down the rest of the stairs to find Buffy waiting at the bottom. He stopped three steps up and stared. Somehow, no matter that they had been married for almost seven years, she could still take his breath away.

She was elegantly dressed in a dark grey skirt that came to a stop mid-calf, but was slit up in the back to just above her knees. Her top was sleeveless and hugged her curves lower down but became loose at the top to pool around her shoulders. It was lilac in color and she had a matching handbag slung carelessly over her shoulder.

She gazed up at him, equally as speechless, as he closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms for a sweet kiss. When he finally pulled away they were both flushed. Still holding her against him, he used one hand to run his fingers through her loose hair, and gazed at her thoughtfully, "The kids missed you while you were gone."

She lightly laughed, "did they now?" He nodded and then met her gaze again, "I did too," he added. She nodded and pulled him closer again, "I thought so." Their lips met just as there was a soft knock at the door. Pulling away, Buffy gave Spike a small smile before turning to open the door.

"Hey you guys," Dawn entered the room, carrying a large stack of books in her arms, "Ready for a night in with the munchkins."

"Hey Nibblet," Spike greeted her, never having given up her nicknames, "They shouldn't be too much trouble. Any trouble at all actually, they're both asleep already."

"Ok," Dawn replied, setting down her material for the courses she was taking at UC-Sunnydale on a table in the front hallway, "you guys leaving right away?"

"Yeah," Buffy agreed, "Right after I check on the kids quick. I'll be right down and then we can go. All right, honey?" Spike nodded and watched Buffy make her way up the stairs. Spike felt his heart expanding at the thought of the kids. Six years and he still couldn't grasp the fact that they were HIS. His children. What was more...they were Buffy's children, too. God, he'd give anything to just freeze that moment in time. Oh yeah, he was SO whipped...and damn happy about it. He was so lost in thought and emotion that he didn't even take note that Dawn was speaking to him until she waved a hand inches in front of his face.

"Hello in there!" She was grinning at him; "I asked where you guys were going?" Spike cleared his throat in embarrassment, "Uh...just out to dinner. No big," he replied, using a Buffyism. Dawn nodded, clearly still amused at his little blank-out.

"All right, I'm ready," Buffy returned from upstairs with a knowing smile on her face, "Let's hit the road."

"Were either of them still awake?" Spike asked, waving to Dawn over his shoulder as the couple walked down their front step.

Buffy nodded and smothered a giggled when she answered, "Yeah, umm...Joyce was up. She said you guys had a good time today." Spike gave her a strange look when her answer ended with a laugh. "Right. We did." He wondered just what all Joyce had told her mother.

He held open the door to the passenger side of the car while Buffy slipped into the seat and then shut it and walked around the front of the car to the drivers' side and got in. He adjusted the mirror and turned the key in the ignition, Buffy staring at him all the while, before turning to her and asking in an exasperated voice, "WHAT?"

She burst into laughter again, "N-nothing...just...well, I have a question for you..."

"Yes?"

She smiled for a moment longer and then reached into her purse, "Actually," She pulled out one of the sock puppets from that afternoon's performance. It had a shock of yellow yarn as hair and two mismatched blue buttons for eyes. Lipstick had been used to draw on lips and candy corn, stained with red permanent marker, had been glued on as fangs, "Spike here has a question for you..."

He felt as though all the blood in his body had suddenly rushed to his face, "Well...ya' see...." He trailed off and swore under his breath and looked anywhere but at Buffy.

It was because of this that he didn't notice she had leaned towards him until she was practically in his lap.

"Did I ever tell you," she whispered into his ear, running her fingers through the soft hair on the back of his head, "How sexy I think good fathers are?"

His mouth went dry at the look on her face, and sure enough she had taken his breath away again. He glanced mischievously at the back seat, and just before her mouth closed over his, he was able to mutter, "What say we skip dinner, luv?"

**END**

  
  
  


Bedtime  
Gotcha!  
Did You Ever Know...?  
Ever Notice How Alike Vampire and Umpire Sound?  
Her Portrait  
Twenty Questions  
Why? 


	4. Ever Notice How Alike Vampire and Umpire...

"C'mon Ump! Are you blind!?" Xander was screaming with all his might towards the umpire while Spike tried, unsuccessfully, to toss popped popcorn at him.

"That call was bloody horrid, you git! Open yer eyes, you bugger!" He was practically growling as his son's team lagged behind in the seventh ninth inning.

"Honey!" Buffy grabbed both men by the arms and pulled them down to their second row bleacher seats, "Cut. It. Out." She hissed in his ear. Grumbling, he set his popcorn down on the ground to his side.

"It's ok, Spike," Xander reassured him before raising his voice and staring at Buffy, "Unlike SOME people, I understand." Buffy glared back and then returned her gaze to the game. She frowned. As much as she hated to admit it, the guys were right, their team was getting some awful calls. It didn't help that they were playing in Valtenfield, the next town over from Sunnydale, and using their umpires.

While Buffy watched in quiet dissatisfaction, observing both the game and their daughter Joyce playing to the side of the bleachers with some friends at the same time, Spike was seething. This was his son's seventh game and the team had been thus far undefeated. And now this ump was going to come in here and ruin it for him?? Though no longer a vampire, some of Spike's more violent tendencies surfaced from time to time and since the beginning of the game he had been itching to rip off the umpires' arms and have the team use those for bats.

He watched the game for a moment longer, a time-out having been called momentarily and wondered how much more he could watch without physically harming the umpires.

He tore his mind from the carnage for a moment, and let his eyes and thoughts follow his son. William was leaning forward intently, a look of concentration crossing his features that was purely Buffy. It was truly amazing how much he looked like his mother. He had sun-streaked blond hair from the large amount of time he spent out of doors and wide, innocent hazel eyes with flecks of green in them. His smile, thought, was clearly given to him by his father. Every time little William did anything he shouldn't have, the corners of his lips turned up into that trademark Spike smirk. Of course, he was more often than not found to have the honest, ear splitting grin on his face that he had also inherited from Spike.

Lost in his the thoughts tumbling through his head, it took Spike a moment to register the fact that his cleat-laden son was waving at him. Spike grinned in returned and gave him a mock salute.

Moments later, the game resumed play, and Spike pushed his way through the people on the first row of the bleachers to stand near the fence with some other parents. Will would be at bat a moment and he wanted to be there for him.

There were two outs with one man on and William's team "The Devils", a name that always caused Spike to grin, was down by three.

Spike watched closely as his son chose a bat and stepped up to the plate. They had been working on his swing every weekend for close to a month. When Will had first started playing, Spike hadn't been very supportive of the idea, never liking the game himself, but when he saw how happy it made his son, he began practicing with him when they had the time and now the duo tried to watch the games on t.v. together whenever they got the chance. They always rooted for their team, even if the "Angels", another name that put a smile on Spike's face, lost most of the time.

Spike concentration became more centered as the first pitch was thrown. It was slightly wild and Spike held his breath when Will took a swing at it, and connected.

"FOUL BALL!"

He bit back a yell, not wanting to embarrass Will. Instead, he focused even more heavily on the next pitch, which was low and slightly outside. He visibly cringed at the call.

"STRIKE ONE!"

"OH COME OFF IT!" He all but screamed and then quickly shut his mouth and motioned with one hand to continue at the umpire, who was staring at him now, the color rising in his cheeks.

He moved his gaze back to the ball, and his eyes followed it as it came in, low again, but more centered.

"STRIKE TWO!"

Spike growled from low in his chest, really wishing he was still a vampire at that moment....well, minus that whole going "poof" in the sun thing.

Spike watched as his son set his expression into a hard mask, another trait he'd earned from Buffy, then turned his eyes to the heavens, closed them and prayed that the next pitch would be a-

CRACK!

His eyes shot open and he stared at the field, watching as William run towards first and rounded it.

"YES! GO WILL!" Spike was screaming and had an incredible desire to do that absurd dance that Harris did around Christmastime. He stared on and quietly willed his son to go faster as he came around second, the other runner just having crossed home plate.

"Gogogogogogogo," Was his mantra as he tried to watch both where the ball was coming from and take note of his son's progress as he crossed over third.

"Fasterfasterfaster," He chanted. Holding his breath, he watched as Will dove for the plate while the ball came flying towards the catcher. Will hit the plate a second after the catcher's glove tagged him.

"OUT!"

"WHAT!?!" Spike screeched as he flew around the fence keeping the spectators away from the game.

"I said, 'Out.' Hard of hearing?" The umpire taunted, removing his facemask to stare Spike square in the eyes. At his tone, Spike narrowed his eyes and drew visibly nearer, until he was almost, but not quite, touching the man in front of him.

He leaned in even closer, their noses almost touching and Spike began speaking in a low and menacing tone, "You and I both know he was in before the catcher tagged him, so you listen to me. I have fed off entire families. Don't think for a second that I'd lose even a wink of sleep at night over cutting you up into pieces so small that you'll be listed next to Jimmy Hoffa in the obits." He was silent for a moment as the Umpire stared back at him, mouth agape.

He had heard stories about the Sunnydale natives. Hadn't thought they were true. Slowly, the flustered and wide-eyed umpire turned back towards the silent, observing spectators, "A-after...uh...further review...the, uh, the batter has been deemed 'Safe'. The run counted."

A cheer went up throughout the Sunnydale section of the bleachers and a satisfied Spike returned to his seat after giving William a quick thumbs up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening the group sat in a booth they had overtaken in Dairy Queen. Spike and Buffy sat next to each other, with William perched on the end of the bench and across from them sat Xander, Anya, and Joyce.

The final score of the game had been 5-4. The next two at-bats for Sunnydale tying and then overcoming the other team's score.

So, now the group sat in a comfortable silence, each nursing their own desert until a curious look crossed Xander's face and he made an interesting noise, trying to talk through his ice cream.

Spike raised an eyebrow at his now friend, "Try swallowing first, Xander." The remark earned him a glare before Xander followed his advice and then cleared his throat before speaking.

"What I was going to say was, have you ever noticed how much vampire and umpire sound alike? I mean, why do you think that is?" Xander finished with a mischievous grin.

Spike smiled wickedly in response, loving the easy set-up, "Oh, iddn't it obvious? They're both blood-sucking as-"

"SPIKE!" Buffy slapped her hand over his mouth.

**END**

  
  
  


  
  
  


Bedtime  
Gotcha!  
Did You Ever Know...?  
Ever Notice How Alike Vampire and Umpire Sound?  
Her Portrait  
Twenty Questions  
Why? 


	5. Her Portrait

Joyce squinted and leaned closer in to examine the picture developing on the monitor. Aunty Willow had been over more lately and was showing her how to use all the fun things on the computer. She especially liked the painting program. It was a lot less messy than when her and daddy tried to paint and got it all over the table.

She grinned at the memory. Mommy had been a lot less happy with that picture. She'd gotten her a new box of crayons soon after to replace the paints that had been put away for safekeeping.

Joyce leaned forward again, trying to concentrate and remember exactly what color everything needed to be. It was a picture for mommy so it needed to be perfect. Mommy hadn't been happy lately. They thought she couldn't tell, but Joyce knew mommy was tired. She frowned at the remembrance. She didn't understand why mommy didn't just take a nap and then have daddy give her cookies and milk. That always helped her.

The little shoulders bounced in a quick shrug. Oh well. Maybe the picture would cheer her up.

She heard the door open and close. Daddy was back inside. He had been in the garage trying to "fix the bleedin' motor"...whatever that meant. It must have something to do with their black car, she figured. He hadn't driven it in a while.

She heard him cross the hallway and enter the den where the computer was set up. He stopped behind her and laid a kiss on top of her head.

"Whatcha' up to, lil' bit?" He asked, calling her by the same name as he sometimes did Aunty Dawn, and gazing at the screen with an odd look on his face.

"I'm just makin' somethin' to cheer mommy up. D'ya think she'll like it?" Joyce queried, anxious to please, while putting the finishing touches on her masterpiece.

For a moment she didn't think he'd answer her and her lower lip trembled a bit until she sensed movement behind her.

She suddenly found herself in his strong embrace, pressed against his chest, and found, to her dismay, that he was breathing like she did when she was crying.

"I'm sorry! I can change it! Honest!" She whimpered, causing him to pull back. He gazed at her, kneeling in front of the turned chair, with tears in his eyes.

"No, baby. Don't change a thing. I'm sure your mum'll love it." He lovingly brushed a stray hair back to tuck it behind her ear. A small smile was forming on her lip.

"Swear?"

"I swear, pet."

Later that night, when Buffy walked through the front door, Joyce was waiting in her pajamas at the top of the stairs, print out in hand.

Her mommy looked awfully tired again. Daddy said that something at mommy's work wasn't right just then, but that it'd be better soon if the Wiccans could find something to help. She didn't know who "the Wiccans" were, and didn't dare ask since she knew that her eavesdropping to find that much out had been wrong, but she hoped they found something soon.

Silently, the tiny blond crept down the stairs. Her blue eyes were sparkling with hope and she was chewing on her pink bottom lip as she tried to sneak up on her mother.

Buffy was hanging up her coat when she felt a small tug on the hem of her shirt. She turned and smiled wearily down at her tiny daughter before bending to pick her up. Balancing Joyce on her hip, she made her way towards the living room.

"Whatcha' got there, pumpkin?" Joyce held the piece of paper behind her back.

"I'll show ya' when we get to the living room." Buffy nodded as she entered the room in question and plunked down on the couch. A moment later Spike appeared in the doorway. He leaned against it and gazed on while Joyce got comfortable in her mother's lap.

"So, sweetie, what is it you were going to show me?" Buffy asked patiently waiting. Joyce worried her bottom lip again, a habit she had picked up from Spike, and glanced at her father in the doorway. He smiled at her and nodded reassuringly.

Joyce turned again to lock eyes with her mother.

"I made you this so you could take it to work with you and then you wouldn't be so sad when you came home," she finally replied, handing her mother the paper.

Buffy glanced at Spike in question before looking down at the paper her daughter had handed her.

It took a minute for the images to register and when Buffy looked at her daughter again it was through blurred vision.

"Do...do you like it?" Joyce asked her nervously.

Buffy pulled her daughter into her arms, letting the family portrait fluttered down on the couch next to them, and said, as the tears rolled down her cheeks, "It's beautiful."

The drawing Joyce made for Buffy.

**END**

  
  
  


  
  
  


Bedtime  
Gotcha!  
Did You Ever Know...?  
Ever Notice How Alike Vampire and Umpire Sound?  
Her Portrait  
Twenty Questions  
Why? 


	6. Twenty Questions

Spike settled back in the easy chair, balancing Joyce on his lap while glancing at William who had taken a seat on the foot stool in front of him.

"Go ahead Will, it's your turn."

"Um... Ok... what color is it?"

"It can be any color."

"Do we have one?"

"Yes we do. Let Joyce ask one now."

"Uh... is it on t.v.?"

"Well, you've probably seen on on the tele before."

"Is it alive?"

"No, it's not alive."

"Does it float?"

"I suppose some of them do, Will."

"Is it a froggie!?"

"You just wasted a question, stupid! He said it wasn't alive!"

"Joyce crinkled her nose at him, "You're stupid!"

"Hey now! Stop fighting you two, or the game's over!" they fell silent, "Now then... Joyce, why don't you try another question?" 

"Uh... ok, can you eat it?"

William snorted, Joyce glared, and Spike cleared his throat.

"No, pet. You can't eat it."

"My turn! Is it... uh, does it glow?"

"Nope."

"Does it have horns?" "Uh... no." "Is it slimy?" "No, wait! Slow down, Will."

"Ok........... um....... wheels! Does it have wheels?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Is it outside?"

"Nope, it's an inside type-a thing."

"Hey! Hey!"

Both males turned to face Joyce and Spike smiled kindly at his daughter, "What, luv?"

"Is it jello?"

"Uh... no, pidge," he answered, but made a mental note to pick up more jello. Clever little girl working that in to remind him...

William didn't find it as amusing though, and following a deep sight, spoke again, "Fine. Not jello. Uh... is it... is it..."

"An aminal, vedtable, or minrel?" Joyce asked from behind the thumb she was sucking on, proud of the fact she reminded a grown up type of Twenty Questions question.

"None of the above."

"Can you get one at the store?"

"Yep."

"Alright....... is it.... bigger than a bread box?"

Spike's lips twitched, "No, four left."

William eyed him warily, "So, it's smaller than a bread box?"

The smile grew, "Nuh-uh. Only three."

There was a pause.

"Dad, is it a sodding bread box?"

Spike grinned.

**END**

  
  
  


  
  
  


Bedtime  
Gotcha!  
Did You Ever Know...?  
Ever Notice How Alike Vampire and Umpire Sound?  
Her Portrait  
Twenty Questions  
Why? 


	7. Why?

"Why is the sky blue?"

"Because it's not purple."

"Why isn't the sky purple?"

"Because it's blue."

"Why does the sun only come out half of the day?"

"Because the moon can be a scary bugger."

"Why is the sun afraid of the moon?"

"Because the sun's a big ol' nonce."

"Why do birds sing?"

"Because they don't bark."

"Why don't they bark?"

"Because they couldn't afford barking lessons."

"Why do I have to shower?"

"Because..... otherwise you'll smell like Uncle Xander... but don't tell him I said that."

"Why don't flowers grow out of rocks?"

"Because the live in dirt."

"Why do they live in dirt?"

"Because it costs too much for them to rent a flat on a rock."

"Why is Will older tham me?"

"Because... he is."

Spike has been busily working on the DeSoto again when Joyce had wandered into the garage, exclaiming she had some very important questions. Five minutes later she was still asking while he fiddled with the underbody of the car.

"Why do Auntie Tara and Auntie Willow live together?"

Bullocks, these were starting to get hard..., "Because they do."

"But why?"

"Because they love each other."

"Why do Uncle Angel and Auntie Cordy live together?"

"Because he needed a good shag," he muttered under his breath, tossing a piece of useless machinery towards the garbage.

"Why?" she questioned anxiously.

"Uh... because they're in love, too."

She faltered, "So... why do you and mommy live together?"

"Same reason."

She grinned impishly, "You live together because Uncle Angel and Auntie Cordy love each other?"

He shook his head at her and chuckled, "No you goose. Because your mum and I love each other."

This satisfied her for a moment. Only a moment.

"Why are babies born?"

Bloody hell... where was Buffy when you needed her? Oh... right...

"Uh..." he set down what he was working on and motioned for her to come nearer, "You askin' because of this business that's goin' on right now?"

Joyce considered this a moment, toying with the rag he had been using, before nodding at him.

He released the breath he had been holding and pulled her into his lap, not caring he would more than likely ruin the clothes she was wearing with oil stains. So together they sat on the floor of the garage, and Spike began to explain.

"When a mum and a da love each other, they get together and decide... um, well they," there was no delicate way to put this, so he plunged ahead, "They ask the stork to get them one from the cabbage patch!" No, that wasn't right. Bugger... what had his own mum told him? Somethin' similar... not that... but... similiar.

Judging by the look on her tiny features, Joyce wasn't buying the whole cabbage patch bit. Oh bullocks... looked like it was time for the truth... well... sort of.

"OK, ducks. It's like this. When a mum and a da love each other very very much, they decide to have a baby together."

Joyce peered up at him, "But how?"

Seconds turned into minutes and at first she though her question would go unanswered.

"Well, you see," she was avidly paying attention now, "The daddy... gives the mum... somethin'... to put in her belly and that's where the baby is made," he smiled proudly. Right delicate he was with that.

"But how does it grow?" Spike's smile dropped.

"Because... there's just something in there that makes it grow."

"Why?" Another pause followed.

"Because that's how God intended it."

"Why?"

"Because it's a bloody good system! That's why!"

She giggled, "Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Why?"

He growled at her and she leapt from his lap, still giggling and ran for the door. She had almost made her exit when she paused, clutching the doorjamb,

"Will you love me or Will less 'cause you hafta' love the new baby too?"

His gaze softened, "No, luv! Could never love either of you less."

She smiled, pleased with his answer, before the light of mischief returned to her eyes, "Why?"

He growled again and this time chased the tiny, giggling girl.

**END**

  
  
  
  


Bedtime  
Gotcha!  
Did You Ever Know...?  
Ever Notice How Alike Vampire and Umpire Sound?  
Her Portrait  
Twenty Questions  
Why? 


End file.
